There are signs that you’re a committed couple; you know each other’s favorite foods, favorite places, interests, goals, likes and dislikes. When things are in motion to becoming a couple learning more about each other is vitally important; when you’re growing apart, there are different signs. You’re becoming strangers to one another. How can you recognize when this is happening to your relationship?
1) You stop sharing conversations about things that were important to both of you.
2) You stop attending things together that used to be a part of your routine.
3) Your partner is no longer interested in going to family functions together.
4) Your partner gets a new car or other vehicle and you did not know they were looking.
5) Your partner changes jobs; you did not know they were looking.
6) Your opinion about household changes no longer matters.
7) Your partner has new interests you were unaware of.
8) Their opinions about things that were important to both of you are suddenly completely different; someone else’s influence has taken precedence.
9) They fail to notice significant changes about you.
10) Someone outside of your relationship brings a small gift because they knew your partner would love it; you didn’t know they had an interest in that.
Somehow growing apart is far less noticeable than growing together. Enchantment is far more captivating that disenchantment. Does it mean your relationship is over? It is if you’re not interested in growing together again, either of you. A lack of interest is the culprit behind becoming strangers.
When you realize this is happening it is good to know that an opportunity lies within the jarring realization that your life may be about to change significantly. It is time to make an honest and unemotional assessment about why this is happening. Have you grown apart because you have new interests that are not shared? Have you gotten familiar enough with one another to discover that you really don’t have an interest in the future of your partner or a future together? If familiarity has bred contempt it is time to take advantage of the opportunity to make a graceful exit while you are both in the process of an emotional separation, and that is what growing apart is.
If, on the other hand, you have become so comfortable in your relationship that either of you imagined it was not necessary to pay careful attention to each other and the direction you are moving towards it is time for a serious wake up call. If continuing your relationship is important to both of you and this has happened because of a lack of attention it is necessary to redefine your priorities.
Why is it important to remove the emotion as you assess this situation? If what you have together is real and sustaining it will withstand the light that emerges even without the emotional tug of memories. Real love is undeniable, gentle and lasting; and worth pursuing and protecting.