Category Archives: Long Distance

How to be Romantic in Long Distance Relationships

Throughout our experience working with long distance couples, we frequently heard that long distance relationship does not have the elements of romance in it. This is not caused by the lack of love in long distance relationship but couples in such situation just do not know how to be romantic to each other. Romance in long distance relationship is necessary and it can make your relationship stronger regardless how far your lover may be.

There are million of things you can do to increase the romance in your long distance relationship. The basic rule here is to build your ability to show your distance partner that you really cherish and value the relationship throughout your LDR. Below are some of the areas you must understand and practice in order to increase the romance in your long distance relationship.

Sweet Talk
Communication is the most important thing in a long distance relationship and you must be able to talk sweetly over the telephone or any cheap channel that you can grab hold. Tell your partner that how you have missed and love them on their absence. Remember to tell your distance partner that you still treasure and care for them even when they are not physically around. Let them know that although you cannot be with them but you constantly think, enchanted and fascinated by them. Sweet talk can never be too much and you can do it as often as you like whenever you got the change to speak or communicate with your distance lover.

Listening with Care
Listening is the next most important thing in long distance relationship. It is important to be able to listen and understand completely the things that your partner is telling you whether it is about their day, wants or dreams. You are their only trusted person that they can look for to share and let their anger off without having to worry and therefore you must be able to listen with care when your partner needs you to lend them your ear. Sharing with your partner will always allow you to build and enhance the romantic moment in your relationship.

Love Note
Nothing is better that a written note with “I love you” message on it. Include this note whenever you send a letter to your distance partner or every time you send something to them. When you had the chance to meet your long distance partner, slip this note into their wallet, handbag, briefcase and etc without their knowledge. The note can be anything from simple “I miss you” to full blown love letter letting you distance partner know how much you have miss him or her.

Virtual Kiss
It may seem that kissing your partner is almost impossible in long distance relationship but you can always give a virtual kiss to your partner. You can always make a lipstick mark on a handkerchief with your mouth or write a “Kiss in Advance” note on a paper and send it to your partner. Tell your partner that you wanted to give them a kiss in advance and ask them to keep the handkerchief or note to remind you of the kiss when he or she sees you the next time.

Having Fun
Having fun is an important and serious matter in long distance relationship. Take the time to have fun with your distance lover. Both of your can always spend your time playing online computer game, surfing the internet, watching a movie at the same time or as well as spending the whole evening telling jokes to each other on the phone. Remember the good times that you both had while together and share them while chatting on the phone. You can also tease and make joke on your partner just to lighten up your conversation from time to time. Anyway you must know the limit as over teasing can cause hurt on your partner. The idea is to have fun while both of you had the opportunity to talk to each other on the phone.

Courtesy and Respect
Courtesy and respect are very important in long distance relationship. You partner may not be physically around but they are still part of your life and a little courtesy or respect can definitely pull both of your closer to each other. Remember to seek for your partner’s opinion in making a decision concerning the relationship and this will indirectly show them that you still care for them. Being romantic is to care, respect and understand your partner regardless where they may be.

Giving Compliments
Complimenting your partner is another way to show that you appreciate them in a long distance relationship. Think of something to complement your distance partner every day or every week. It does not have to be anything big or major. Something like “You look beautiful today” or “Your voice is sweet” will make your partner feel nice about them self even they are far away. On the other hand, you must remember to give only a sincere and honest compliment to your long distance partner. Your partner will certainly feel romantic knowing that you still admire and appreciate them despite the distance.

Above are the areas of romance to get you started and you can always create your own romantic moment by using the above examples. Be passionate about your LDR and romance will automatically show up at your doorstep.

Key Secrets Of Successful Long Distance Relationships

Long distance relationships are becoming more common as people travel far away for work, study, or reasons beyond their control. While always challenging, there are ways to make relationships thrive despite the distance. Here are my 7 top tips for building successful long distance relationships….

1. Plan your long distance relationship

Make time for a serious heart-to-heart discussion with your partner. Face up to all the challenges that you are likely to experience through being so far apart from each other. Be honest and talk about all the ‘what ifs’ and plan what you can do when those occur as they surely will. Make contingency plans for your insecurities, your sexual needs, and what you need to put in place to keep the relationship thriving. The people that enjoy successful long distance relationships do not leave things to chance. By planning ahead, you strengthen your relationship commitment and build your resolve to make it work.

2. Keep the communication lines open

If you are hundreds or thousands of miles apart, it is easy to feel ‘separated’. Successful long distance relationships require daily interaction and sharing (the ‘relating’ to each other bit). Phones, email, texting, postal mail, and web cams… you must use them all. Remember that there is a hierarchy of value to these communication systems. Your best bet is to use a combination of web cam and an internet phone like Skype, so that you can see and talk to each other. Texts and emails are great for short little notes but no more than that as they are so open to misinterpretation. Make sure to send gifts, photos, home movie clips, and traditional love letters via postal mail too. There is nothing quite so rewarding as receiving a package from a distant loved one — it lets your partner know how much you care about them and are thinking of them.

3. Romantic ideas for long distance relationships

So how do you stay romantic during a long distance relationship? Romance is built on thoughtfulness, creativity and shared experiences of intimacy and joy. There are lots of ways you can demonstrate your romantic side, however far apart you are. Most important to your partner is being reassured that they are still loved and that you are thinking about them despite all the distractions of life where you are. Keep them in your heart by making a commitment to staying in regular contact. Send thoughtful and romantic care packages, as discussed, by mail. And make time for alone time together on your web cam internet phone get-togethers. One of the most romantic things you can do for successful long distance relationships is plan your future together. Talk about what you are going to do in the future. Always speak in terms of how much you are looking forward to being with them physically and sharing a life together. Plan what you are going to do when you meet up next time. And make the most of your memories and shared experiences. Talking about the fun things that you have done and will do is great strategy for keeping the chemistry alive in any romantic relationship. Be sure to give your partner regular and frequent re-assurance of your love and commitment. Watch out for misunderstanding and strive to get clarity in all your communications with your long-distance partner. Make sure when you are on the phone or web cam that you are alone. That way you can express yourselves better and there will be nothing to distract you.

4. Coping with sexual frustration and temptation

If you are healthy, you are going to be horny and it’s hard to get satisfaction if your partner is the other side of the country, or worse, the world. It is essential that you are both perfectly clear on the boundaries of the relationship. Some people are okay with the idea of their partners seeing other people while they are apart. But most are not. Clarify your own relationship and the level of commitment you are willing to give each other. Assess the likelihood of temptations. If your sweetie is off to college on the West Coast while you are going to college on the East Coast, you have to decide how strong your relationship is because you are both going to face major temptation in the form of other people who are actually there in front of you. Every couple is unique and only the pair of you can decide whether you can realistically commit. The secret is to maintain those communication lines and include lots of time for high-tech intimacy in the form of phone sex and web cam sex. Obviously you need a high level of trust in a relationship to do this, as you do not want to discover your beloved has posted your naked pictures online! Successful long distance relationships make provisions for sexual frustration by scheduling ‘fun’ time. More than that they focus on the experience of intimacy and depth and that is part of all your communications. The more you reveal of your true self the closer the relationship becomes. As for coping with temptation, this is where your commitment comes into play and the future planning that you do. Most people can get by on the promise of the hot stuff! Just make sure you carry through on what you say you are going to do to each other when you meet up!

5. Overcoming feelings of jealousy and fears of cheating

All romantic relationships can experience jealousy and fears about cheating, but generally long distance relationships take longer to resolve those feelings. The grass always seems greener on the other side especially if one partner has gone away somewhere exciting while the other is at home. If every time you talk to your beloved there appears to be a party on in the background, no wonder you feel jealous. The important thing is to not beat yourself up about it. It’s natural to feel a bit jealous and insecure. It is going to happen, so accept it and do not let it escalate. Maintain your own high self-esteem and high self-worth. Keep doing the things that you enjoy doing. You are a valuable, attractive, interesting person. It’s important for your own mental health that you adopt the attitude that your partner is lucky to have you in their life. Think that you are the best choice for them. Successful long distance relationships use the distance to have a clearer perspective on the relationship. Acknowledge the reality that you could form a successful relationship with any number of people. But you have chosen to build a wonderful relationship with this person who just happens to be a long distance away at this time. With this perspective your relationship is always based on choice. With you choosing to create a loving relationship rather than it being about neediness, craving or thinking this is the one and only.

6. Dealing with doubt about your feelings

Accept that it is natural for your enthusiasm to lessen at times. All relationships wax and wane, so refuse to see it as indicative of a failing relationship. Do not be afraid to express your feelings within a context that is safe. If you have planned well, you will have provided for this eventuality and you will both know that it is just a natural part of being apart. Evaluate where you are and where you are headed in the relationship. Make sure that you have shared relationship goals to aim for and that you are actively talking about your next physical meeting and any future life plans. People who live very much in the moment can often find it harder to maintain touch with their feelings for someone while apart. If that is you, make sure both you and your partner understand that you might not be as demonstrative from a distance. In this situation, it is best to try and schedule more regular meetings if possible. But it is also important, for your life not just your relationship, that you gain a better and longer time perspective. The most successful people financially are those who think and plan 10, 20, 30 years ahead. The same is true in relationships. Successful long distance relationships occur when both parties see the separation as temporary and having a finite duration, and that they are building towards a future together

7. Successful relationships at a distance and close-up

Ultimately you want to find out how to successfully love another person and how to create a blissful relationship. The fact that you are going to be apart for a while is just another challenge that you need to rise to. Relationships are full of challenges. Things are always coming along to throw you off balance. That is life. The trick is to adapt and overcome life’s challenges. In traditional wedding vows, the couple make promises to each other that they love, respect and care for each other through thick and thin, in rich times and poor times. There is a real magic in a commitment like that. Making a vow of that nature builds deep love between two people. Deep love is something you can only experience with time and commitment. It enriches your soul. You feel fulfilled by it to your very marrow. Successful long distance relationships are built by people committed to love and being loving to each other. Love is a verb. It is something that you can choose to do. Often times choosing to love involves hard work. But the rewards it pays outweigh anything else you can get from this world.

When a Plane Ride is Necessary to See Your Love

Long distance relationships (LDR) are not for the weak at heart, not only that, they can also be expensive.  Even if two people only live 4 hours a part, it gets expensive running back and forth, even if you take turns.  Long distance relationships have a whole new dimension to them then a traditional relationship and one thing they can not survive with out is trust and communication, if either is lacking the relationship will never make it.

There are a couple reasons people can find themselves in a long distance relationship:

  • Work takes on of the partners away.  With the war, many couples have been separated for long periods of time to where they have had to rely on their foundation they have built in their relationship to pull them through their absence.  If the foundation is shaky, the relationship can be at risk.  That is why it is so important to have a strong level of trust in your partner and excellent communication skills.  You never know what may separate you.
  • Online dating sites have created many long distance relationships.

Pre-established relationships that are disconnected through work or other reasons that finds them in a long distance relationship may be able to benefit from some of these tips.  However, this article is more directed towards the population that are in new relationships that are long distance out of choice by either chance encounters or meeting on an online dating site.

Long distance relationships by choice are becoming a common relationship.  It is estimated that 4.4 million college age people and 3.5 million dating couples are in long distant relationships.  That is not counting married couples that are separated do to work or war.  The online dating sites continue to add to these numbers daily as people are easily connected to people who live cities, to states, to countries apart from one another.  Break up rates in long distant couples is not that much greater then amongst couples that live in close proximity with one another or even together.  Although LDRs have to work at their relationship in a different manner then traditional relationships, over all they are no less satisfied with the relationship other then the distance.

Something you need to consider if you are thinking about entering a long distance relationship is if you are capable of handling the extra commitment and work it requires.  If you are recently in a LDR and have already have had thoughts of straying or obsessive thoughts that your partner is cheating you are not cut out for the long distance lifestyle.  Here are some tips that will help in your dating ventures as well as maintenance of a long distance relationship.

Have an end in sight. 

When people are separated by work or war, they have the advantage of knowing approximately how long the separation will be.  This gives them something tangible to look forward to and calms fears of never being together.  Therefore, give yourself the same advantage.  Before getting to deep into the relationship, make a time line of how the relationship would ideally work out.  Is the other person finishing their degree and does not choose to leave their current university?  Take into accounts what things are happening in each other’s lives and make a reasonable time line of when the separation is going to end and you will be united.

Think about your willingness to relocate.  If you have no intentions on relocating, make sure to make that clear early on in the relationship.  You partner may feel the same way and you are then at a stalemate and need to make a decision to continue or call it quits.

Make time to communicate

In long distance relationship, communication levels need to be increased drastically compared to traditional relationships.  You are wise to make sure you have the same cell phone carriers or a really good long distance phone plan.  Schedule your communication so each partner knows when the next time will be when he or she will hear from you.  This takes some of the worry out of the equation.  The more you talk the less the distance will appear.  Mark dates and times a month in advance with each other.  It gives you both parties a tangible thing to look forward to.  If for some reason you are not going to be able to call on a scheduled time, let the partner know in advance.  Do not just blow it off as if it does not matter.  Always think, would you want the same done to you?

Physical visits

Just like the phone communication, schedule physical visits in advance, the more the better, but no less then once every six months.  Depending on the amount of distance between the couple will play a factor in the frequency of visits.  It can get very expensive traveling all the time.  However, in addition to scheduling physical visits, schedule mini vacations like a traditional relationship would have.  This continues to help the relationship grow and stay fresh.

Trust

Trust can be an issue in any relationship, however if you already have trust issues, long distance is not for you.  It takes a blind trust in a sense to be able to handle LDRs.  You do not have the luxury of seeing this person daily nor can you talk to them every night the entire night through.  You have to be willing to give a level of trust that is even deeper then that in a traditional relationship.  Statistics show that people e who are in LDR do not cheat any more then a traditional relationship, however, they do have a tendency to worry about it more which can bring problems of their own in the relationship.  A person can actually begin to believe their partner is cheating purely from worry alone and by no indication from the other partner that there is anything wrong.

Intimacy

In a long distance relationship, intimacy takes on a completely new meaning.  You have to learn to focus on what you have at your disposal rather then what you don’t have.  LDRs need to communicate more and in a variety of ways to stimulate as many senses as possible.  Hand written letters, emails, phone call, video chats, tape-recorded messages, pictures, and tokens of love are all great ways to improve a distant intimacy.  People in LDR need to communicate more there day to day activities, plans, how their day went, the small details of their life as well as the bigger ones to help the couples feel a part of their everyday living and an important part of each other’s life.

Isolation

It is easy for people in LDR to begin to isolate themselves from others and only focus strictly on work to avoid uncomfortable situations while out in public.  They appear to be physically single; however, they are not single emotionally.  Although LDR are becoming more acceptable as a alternative dating arrangement, it is not yet seen by all as a real relationship which leads the person in a LDR having to re-explain their position repeatedly.  Rather then always having to feel the need to defend their LDR and the reality of their love they simply avoid any situations that may bring up question.  However, this is very unhealthy.  People in long distance relationships still need to have a support circle with whom they can feel safe to discuss their relationship with as well as socialize with other people.

Quality of Relationship

Most people in LDR measure the success of their relationship based off their last physical encounter rather then the relationship as a whole.  If the last visit went poorly, they may sit back with worries until the next visit.  Phone conversations in the mid term avoid discussing how or why the last visit did not go well as others so the moment is not ruined.  This is another aspect where long distance relationships can fail.  Although they may have increase communication, they need to discuss the good and the bad and work through them regardless if they are sitting next to each other.  They cannot allow things to fester up until the next visit and expect it to go well, or try to hide the negative feelings they have been dealing with since the last visit.  Although the communication needs to be at an increased level in LDR, it needs to be of increased quality as well.

Long distance relationship can work, they just take a different level of commitment, trust, and the couple must have excellent communication skills to make one work.

Making Your Long Distance Relationship Work

Distance often throws a monkey wrench into a relationship. That is why many people are wary of committing to any long distance relationship. However, most couples tend to forget that relationship does not depend on the physical location only.

Close proximity can often be suffocating while in a long distance relationship many good things can bloom in the space between the couple. For this to happen, couples should focus on how things can turn out right instead of dwelling on what can go wrong. If you are trying to make your long distance relationship work, check out the following suggestions.

Being In A Successful Long Distance Relationship

A sexual relationship at the wrong point of time has a negative bearing on a relationship. (This is sure going to get a lot of flack from some readers, but sorry people, this is the truth!) This intimacy changes the equation especially when they are not yet ready to take the step. Once the threshold is crossed the pressure on the relationship makes it harder to work things out as they move very quickly in other areas. More often than not, it leads to a break up. However, when a couple is far away, the pressure of physical contact is reduced. The relationship progresses slowly making the couple know each other better.

In a long distance relationship, proper communication is important. To keep things moving forward, these relationships use a different line of communication that is far better than those who stay in close proximity. That is because the only way to spend time with one another in a long distance relationship is through communication. When together, communication can often turn into arguments. While this not impossible when apart, it is greatly reduced, since there is more focus on the other person and less on oneself.

In a long distance relationship, friendship is the foundation on which it is built. No matter where they are located, a bond inevitably forms with an underlying emotional connection. In close proximity this valuable friendship is often overshadowed by intimacy. Thus, a support system, the bedrock of a relationship, which takes time to build, is missed out. In a long distance relationship, the couple become friends first and lovers later, so, both develop proper understanding. If you want your relationship to work no matter where you are, your partner should be your friend, apart from being our lover.

Have faith in your relationship no matter where you are. If you believe that your relationship is fragile just because of distance, you’re going to ruin it with your own hands. Live in the moment, enjoy the romance, and the rest will work out for you. Stay away from rumors and unlikely stories about your partner, avoid suspicion, and the seed of romance will blossom into a thing of beauty.

Although these points may sound like a long distance relationship can be easy for everyone to work out, this is not always so. Not everyone has the energy and commitment to carry out a long distance relationship. Many people are more comfortable when their partner is physically present for whatever may be the reason. However, if you are fully prepared to make the long distance relationship with your partner work, then all the points given above will surely be of help. Sometimes, distance may be one thing that pushes your relationship on to success.